“Where’s the romance?” Certainly a phrase most guys will hear in at least one period in their lives. Most of the time it’s at a point of the relationship where comfort has set in. All the months or years of getting to know his significant other, sharing hopes, values, goals, letting her witness his not so great characteristics like drinking from the carton, or only doing a request to the level of “guy” have certainly thrown the balance off.
But ladies, it’s not completely one sided. Believe it or not, guys are actually thinking the same thing with you. However, our minds have been designed not to think of it as romance. Just like there’s guy clean, guy fixing and Guy Ritchie, there is also a certain category of romance that is guy. You might not recognize this very easily, because like Atlantis, most people think it’s a myth. Consider it the G-spot of a guy. Hard to figure out, but once you understand it, you’re gold.
So what is this “Guy Romance” that I keep alluding to? And by alluding, I mean the whole point of the conversation. To understand this, you have to change your thoughts on what you’ve learned. Let me put it this way. If you want to learn French, you can simply look at an English word and figure out what the translation is. But, if you want to speak elephant, you can’t simply buy a book of phrases for that. That’s guy romance. Not learning a new language, but rather, learning a new species.
So how do you tackle this? Easy, quit overcomplicating things. Guys are simple. We like things. We like dinner being cooked for us as long as it doesn’t come out of a package. We like sports, we like gadgets, we like you to shave your legs. Yes, everyday. Trust me, if you’re guy has an ounce of romance in him, he’s working twice as hard on this stuff as you. Why? Because girls like stuff and really like stuff that has meaning behind it.
But let’s talk about balance. Here’s a theory. When you both first started dating, you were showing your best qualities… somewhat of a show room shine. Over time, the shine wears off. Sure, you clean yourself up for a night out, but once you get back home, sweatpants for everyone. You start downgrading yourself as the comfort sets in. The fact that she/he is wants to stay with you even through these nasty habits that weren’t divulged until date 42 is a testament to your better half. But for every new “quirk” that is revealed through talk or action, there has to be some type of balance on the other end. Like finding out your car has a hidden cup holder.
Yes, we’re all busy. And the acceptance of you the way you are is important. But if someone is really willing to put up with your belly button lint picking ways, shouldn’t you at least thank her (or oh my god… him) for it?