Hey Bib,
I went on a 2nd date with a guy who I thought was a real catch. Anyone out there who’s doing the online dating knows that if you make it past the first, things are looking promising…anyway, over dinner my date tells me he’s “95% straight, 5%” gay”. Do I ignore the 5% and get busy with this guy or set him up with a gay friend?

Hmm, I didn’t realize you could be a percentage of gay other than 0, 50, or 100. 5%? It sounds like he was telling you his nationality. “I’m 5% gay from my great grandfather on my mother’s mother’s side.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking anyone’s preference and have a few gay friends myself. That’s why it’s such a surprise to me that gayness can be set on a dial rather than a switch. Either you are, aren’t or like both. Simple.

Okay, let’s get back to the topic at hand. Do you pay attention to 5%. I guess it depends on what he means. If it’s 5% of the whole of him, like part of his wardrobe doesn’t have sleeves, or 5% of the cd’s in his collection is made up of  Cher and/or Barbara Streisand then it shouldn’t be a problem. However, if 5% of everything he does, is and will do, be gay, then this could cause issues depending on how open you are to it.

As hard as you try, there will always be a part of his needs that you can’t fulfill. Now if you’re okay with that, then certainly enjoy the relationship. However, you many need to be open to the fact that he’s going to look to satisfy that 5% elsewhere.

Open communication will certainly be the key. Be understanding of the situation and don’t lock it up or keep it in the closet.