Hey Bib,
So I went on a date with this guy that I met on the internet and we have e-mailed for a little bit and then talked on the phone a couple times before we decided to meet. We met at a little dessert place and during our conversation he asked what my hobbies were which I told him and then politely asked him what his were. He says that he likes to write short stories and then proceeds to “read” me one of them in a very loud voice. All I can remember from this is that it was about him being born into the hard cruel world and that the first thing that he remembers is being slapped on the ass by the doctor. That is the short version….the one he told me (and the whole store) was much longer. Then he said that another hobby of his is to collect dragon figurines. He said that he had hundreds of them all over his house and not just designated to one room!! I guess my question is that I don’t like dragons or figurines…..what do I do??

Answer:
I’m not a big fan of people who are loud for no reason. I consider myself a loud person, but even I know when it’s appropriate and when it’s not. Nice restaurant, inside voice. Fire breaks out, attending a sporting event or see Justin Bieber walking down the street… high pitched shrieking is fair. So for this reason, I’m already biased against this guy.

He’s loud in public places because he’s one of those people who say they don’t care what other people think, only to ensure everyone knows what they are thinking. Or, he has a deep need for attention, much like children who see someone doing something, only to repeat it 5 seconds later and act like it was the first time ever performed. But that doesn’t answer your question.

He likes to write short stories? That’s great. But unless you asked him if he had a story and soapbox to preach it from handy, he shouldn’t assume that you’re going to be into it. Especially when he makes the atmosphere awkward by his choice of topic. (*Tip for guys… commandeering the date by speaking for 90% of it doesn’t get a girl to like you. Asking her questions to let her talk about herself for hours does.) As for his dragon fetish, it’s not unheard of for people to be figurine collectors. I collected pez dispensers once upon a time (probably why I have so much time to write now), and now will pretty much buy any kitchen gadget I see at 3am and/or made by Ron Popeil. It’s when he starts bringing out costumes, including one that mysteriously fits you perfectly, that you need to start worrying.

So it simply comes down to this. Are you attracted to him? Because if you are, then the story telling is an artistic expression of his soul and the dragons are a sign of an innocence that he’s trying to hold on to. If you’re not attracted to him, then the story telling is obnoxious and the dragons are one step away from believing Star Trek is a religion.