Hey Bib,
My boyfriend and I have a great relationship, except that every year he forgets to buy me something for Valentine’s Day. His excuse is, “Why do I have to buy you something on a specific day to prove how much I love you? Don’t all the other days matter?” With only a few weeks until Valentine’s Day, how do I convince him that it’s important?

Answer:
He “Forgets to” or “Doesn’t”? Because those are two completely different things. “Forgets to”, implies that he meant to, but didn’t. Like, “Oh crap, I forgot to buy milk”. “Doesn’t” means that there was never any intention of buying you anything. Like, “I didn’t buy milk, I’m lactose intolerant”. Sure is annoying when someone answers a question with a question isn’t it? So, here’s another one. How does he treat you the rest of the 364 days of the year?

If he’s the type that buys you spontaneous, thoughtful gifts throughout the year, then chances are, he doesn’t like the expectation to buy you things. It may take away some of the meaning. Yes, your birthday is different. Although it’s planned, the gifts can be considered more in-depth compared to the standard flowers and chocolate expectations on Valentine’s Day. Also, it’s celebrating birth, not love.

If he is like this, then you should give your head a shake. Guys like that are gold and you should appreciate that he focuses on you throughout the year minus one day and not only on one day. The only bad is that you won’t be able to end this sentence to your friends… “Oh, yeah? Well, my man bought me…” the day after Valentine’s Day.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like you to turn the table on yourself. Do you buy him thoughtful gifts throughout the year including Valentines? Before you answer, let me add that clothes and sex aren’t gifts. Buying a guy clothes is like buying a girl a vacuum. And as soon as you start categorizing sex as a gift, he’s going to start accepting “gifts” from other people.

On the flip side, if he’s the type that says stuff like “Why do I need one day to prove my love to you?” but yet never buys you anything throughout the year (outside of the necessities of life), then I ask you this question… What did you expect? I doubt that if he’s the type to not think about gifts for you any other time, why would he start now? And that whole, “Valentine’s Day is just an excuse to charge crazy money for flowers and chocolate” line is pretty much just an excuse for his not really caring (although there is some truth to that). I’m not saying he doesn’t care about you, but he simply doesn’t feel the purchasing of “things” should be a measure of his love for you. But I bet he sure has a pretty sweet TV!