I had a date this week with a guy 8 years older than me, so I thought he’d be mature, experienced in relationships and chivalrous as I’ve found most European men are….he was a very nice Russian man with an accent to die for. We had a ton to talk about, lots in common with similar taste in movies, art, music. All in all, the date went so well that he asked me out for a 2nd date…until the inevitable happened – like 99% of the men I’ve dated, he dropped me off in front of my place and sped off before I was anywhere close to the main door. I’m on a side street, it was dark and this street in particular is quite dark with a lack of street lamps.
Anyway, I have to wonder what happened to the days when a date made sure we got in safely? The guy jumped at the chance to get my coffee for me, helped me put on my coat at the end of the date and held doors open at all times, but burns rubber and high tails it out of my neighbourhood before I’ve barely closed the car door? And he’s not the only one who’s left tire marks on the street after dropping me off, but they always call the next day to go out again.
First thought: He’s a spy and was late checking in to High Command.
Next thought: No more Bourne movies before writing.
It seems to me to be a question of when does a date begin and end.
For a girl, the date begins with starting to get ready. Going through the closet, matching everything up just so, make-up hair, facebook updates, coordinating with a girlfriend to call you with a fake emergency incase the date isn’t going so well, and so on.
And the date ends after she’s called her best friend, wrote in her diary, replayed the night 1,000 times in her head and finally thinks about what to do for the next three dates with him (the crazy one’s are thinking about what their children will look like).
A guy on the other hand starts his date much later. He’s not even in “Date Mode” when he’s parking the car to come pick you up. That happens when either you or your dad answers the door. Actually, if your dad answers the door, he should be in military mode, but that’s for a later manual. Like a switch, the instance he sees you, its game time.
So when does the date end for him? Depends on the guy. I don’t mean in physical presence, but more mental. Some guys end the date when they get turned down at the door after hoping for a kiss goodnight (or the attempt to extend the date and end it the next morning). If he’s really classy, the date will end when he gets the bill after dinner and say, “your portion of it is…”.
Now, I’m not defending this guy’s actions. It could be nervousness, it could be that in his giant list of “thing to remember to do”, this one got missed. I will say this though. In the dating world, each person is generally showing about 75% of their true self, and 25% of the perception they want their date to think. If you really want to know how he’s going to be in the long haul, see how treats those that aren’t essential to the date. That’s a much better analysis.
Oh, and about the driving off… next date, just ask him to wait till you get in the door. Yes, it is that easy.