Hey Bib,

I noticed that you answer mostly questions from women, but I’m hoping you can help me with an issue.  I’m dating a girl that is still close friends with her ex’s.  She has weekly scheduled nights playing games and stuff with them.  Is that normal?  Should I be jealous?

Answer:

There sure are a lot of compounded questions that come from yours.  So let’s break those down.

Ex’s plural?  How many are we talking about?  Two?  Five?  Ten?  Mind you, after about four, it just becomes a lot of ex’s, which of course leads to many more questions that I won’t bring up here.

As well, when you say “playing games”, what does that mean exactly?  Not that it really matters, but the “stuff” should be a little bit of a flag, no?

Is it normal for a girl to be friends with her ex’s and playing games with them?  Yes, it’s called elementary school.  You date for a couple of classes then when gym comes, you forget all about it and move on.  Sure you still chat, but it’s never the same.  Your finger painting goes from a flower for her to back looking like a dinosaur (that really is a giraffe) and over recess Red Rover, you will not be calling her over.

But judging from your email, you (and I really, really… really hope her) are of consenting age.  So here’s how it goes…

You said “the girl you’re dating” and not “girlfriend”, so I assume the relationship is young.  The “ex’s” were not ex-guys she was dating, but rather ex-boyfriends, so there still is a connection there.  It’s not a bad thing that they realized they were better as simply being friends.  You have to respect that.  “Playing games” means she’s young and may not have the same views on relationships as you do.

There’s no right or wrong here.  She may have completely different views on what she wants out of a relationship than you do.  You’ll have to respect that, but that doesn’t mean you should change your views just to make it work.  That will only last so long until you lose your mind and be left alone holding onto a magician staff and a Merlin hat.  If you’re finding it stressing you out more than you spend enjoying the relationship, it just might not be worth it.

Because Jr. High School is just around the corner and it’s a whole new world my friend.